Dentists aint, just, dentists no more, Sol. Now, some of them are calling themselves Aesthetic Therapists. Beware the professional with a high fallutin title, because they will be charging more for their services than before. The guy or gal with a high-speed drill is still drilling for oil or gold, but doing it with a new fancy moniker. Teeth have become, even more, valuable commodities, because social expectations have shifted with every American TV soap opera and movie featuring actors with whiter than white fangs. I reckon they are being sponsored by their Dental Association, in addition to the gun lobby.

The Cosmetic Aesthetic: What Is an Aesthetic Therapist?

Aesthetic therapists do more than just teeth, of course, they might be plastic surgeons, beauticians, dermatologists, and cosmetologists. These folks work to improve the sensory appearance of ugly people. Now, in the old days, ugly folk, just, stayed downright ugly. Not these days, no, these ill-favoured bipeds, now, go and see an aesthetic therapist to make them pretty. There are professionals who help them stand up straight. Others who assist the unsightly and unlovely to achieve things like white teeth. It seems you cannot be that hideous if you have white teeth.

White teeth open doors, not literally, of course, or you really will need to see a dentist. They do it metaphorically speaking. A beautiful smile, even, an attractive grimace, can send a sexual green light to members of the opposite sex (or the same sex if you are that way inclined). There is a veritable industry of folks fixing ugly people to look less loathsome. If you are homely, repellent, uncomely, grisly, grotesque, or just gross to look at, there is help at hand. Aesthetic therapists are out there waiting for you to knock upon their door.

When the world is healed of all the misshapen and misbegotten, all these folks will be out of a job I suppose. What I reckon will happen, however, is that those TV folks will come up with new things they judge to be unbeautiful and repugnant. Dandruff, bad breath, BO, pimples, baldness, round bellies, ageing, not having the right mobile phone – all these natural states have been categorised as problems, and health issues to be corrected by chemical interventions where possible. The cosmetic aesthetic is like that eye of the needle and most of us are just camels trying to fit into last season’s skin tight jeans.